


No Shame in Asking

by bitelikefire (theoleo)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 5 Times, 5 Times Plus 1, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Fluffy, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex, Rafael is whipped okay, Sonny is Italian AF, Sonny is a Grade A Tease, bottom sonny, i don't make the rules, i'm canadian so we say counsellor not counselor, porn with sorta plot, sonny is bisexual always, this is pretty filthy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 20:03:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12140082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoleo/pseuds/bitelikefire
Summary: Sonny isn’t new to the whole ‘liking dudes too’ thing. What he is new to, is how much he loves sucking dick. Rafael’s, to be specific. It’s aproblem.Or, 5 times Sonny blew Rafael within an inch of his life. And one time he got it back.Aka: Sonny is always bisexual and isn’t some blushing virgin.





	No Shame in Asking

**Author's Note:**

> Here. *throws fic* Take it. I don’t wanna write this anymore. 
> 
> This is my first Barisi fic. Won't be my last. This is fucking filthy, but it could be worse. I don’t know where this came from. Please respect me in the morning. 
> 
> For Tatiana.

November 23rd

The thing about the Carisi family is that they’re _big._

There’s oceans of them. The house isn’t even that big, not by a mile and having Sonny say that he has a large family is one thing, but witnessing it first hand is a whole other story.

Rafael’s used to just having his mother, (and a few rogue cousins who he’s forced to send money to when his mom twists his arm enough) so when Sonny gives him a wide smile as they drive to Staten Island, _(oh god, Staten Island_ ) and says cheerfully, “don’t worry about it. They’ll all love you. And if they ask too many questions, just eat whatever’s in front you. Keep that mouth occupied,” Rafael questions his feelings for him.

It turns out Sonny’s advice is useful. Rafael busies himself with the pre-dinner appetizers Sonny’s mother has out; cannoli, bocconcini, chocolates, bread, cold cuts and cheese. He stuffs his mouth with a combination of them all, keeping himself on the outskirts of a conversation that Bella roped him into. He half listens to her, nodding when appropriate. He _wants_ to listen and engage, he’s trying; but it’s almost impossible when all his attention is wrapped into Sonny, who’s not even a few steps away. Still, Sonny _blooms._

He’s in the middle of telling a story from the looks of it, his hands making wild gestures despite one of them holding a glass of red. He says something that makes his uncles laugh and shove him roughly by the shoulder, getting wine on his sweater. Instead of scolding his uncle, Sonny rolls his eyes playfully and pats the stain down with a shrug. It’s a wondrous thing to see; Sonny’s accent getting thicker, his voice growing louder to match and overpower his uncles, talking about god knows what. It’s impossible to hear over well, everything.

“Rafael, are you even listening to me anymore?” Bella’s voice comes out of nowhere and she punches him sharply on the arm.

“Yes, yes of course,” he lies, and immediately is met with the face that reads “warning” and “beware.” He’s seen it a lot on Sonny’s face at work. It must be a family thing. “Okay, maybe not every word but –”

A familiar hand wraps around his waist and pull him in close, “hey, you good?” Sonny asks, smelling trouble. He turns his gaze to his sister. Rafael moves to shrug him off, _he’s a grown man_ , and PDA is still an issue with some of his family members (not that Rafael gives a shit about it) but Sonny’s grip is strong and he presses his fingers into his side deep. Staking his claim. “You got enough?”

 “What’re you? The fucking police – oh wait,” Bella says.

Sonny rolls his eyes and mimics her, pitching his voice high, like this is a long-suffering joke. “Ha-ha, and for ma’s sake, language.”

Bella makes a face, “Ma’s in the kitchen swearin’ up a storm, she can’t hear me over here. And you’re not the boss of me Sonny.”

“Yeah well, I’m older so,” Sonny shrugs. His hand is now moving up and down Rafael’s back, but out of her line of sight. Rafael can’t help but lean into it.

Bella opens her mouth to say something but stops, hearing her daughter start to kick up a fuss somewhere in the room.

Rafael winces at the sound, while Sonny and Bella both curse when they locate where her daughter is. Gina’s holding her and looks about five seconds away from dropping her. Barba’s no expert on children, but even he knows you probably shouldn’t hold an infant like that.

“Aw Jesus,” Sonny says.

“Gina!” Bella says, rushing over and leaving them alone.

“Sorry about that,” Sonny says, letting go of his side. Rafael really wishes he didn’t. Up close, Sonny’s cheeks are pink; pinker than his lips, which is saying something, but he’s smiling. His lips are wet and Rafael can’t focus on much else. Nothing else seems as important anymore; his intimidation, the pressure, the amount of people. It all trickles and fades. Rafael clears his throat. He really, really needs a drink. Scotch. Neat.

Sonny seems to read his mind and hands over his glass. Rafael takes a deep drink and shrugs languidly, “stop apologizing. I’m already here and,” he glances around, to the swarm of family in such a small home, “it’s not that bad.”

Sonny gives him that look. Rafael knows that look too.

“Rafi. C’mon. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“Weren’t you? That’s what they keep telling me.”

And that, gets Sonny to really, really laugh.

“C’mon, dinners almost ready. Sit next to me,” Sonny says, smiling. Showing off his dimples. He plants a wet kiss to Rafael’s cheek, and really, where else would he go?

* * *

 

Sonny leads Rafael up the steps to the second floor of the house with their hands intertwined. They’ve managed to sneak away undetected after dessert. Rafael tells himself he only lets it happen because he’s warm off of home-cooked Italian food and cheap wine.

Sonny burps loudly and immediately whistles, “jeez, that was a warm burp. You’re lucky you didn’t get to smell that,” Sonny says more to himself.

“You’re so sexy, have I mentioned that?”

Sonny throws back his head and laughs, squeezes his hand. He pulls Rafael with more urgency as they reach a door at the end of the hall. “Come here, I wanna show you something,” Sonny whispers.

Rafael wants to point out that he’s already here; close and inside Sonny’s personal bubble. “Why’re we whispering?” He whispers instead, finding it difficult to stop the way his face splits into a grin to match Sonny’s. He feels twenty years younger; a thrill pumping through his system and his pulse spiking being this close in a dimly lit corner. There’s a funny glint in Sonny’s eye, something playful; and Rafael feels it too. Like they’re sneaking away from their parents to fool around upstairs like teenagers. Sonny makes it so easy. He makes everything so easy. He smirks and opens the door.

Immediately, Rafael knows this is Sonny’s childhood bedroom. There are miniature soccer trophies posted on shelves. Rafael doesn’t have to squint too much to see Sonny’s name engraved on all the plaques. There are family photos; outdated, showing the Carisi family in different stages. But all Rafael can focus on is Sonny – always Sonny—lanky, pale and grinning from ear to ear in each photo. He’s always the tallest; in the framed photos in the room. Getting taller and lankier by the years and Rafael is transfixed by it all. He’s never seen these before –

He hears Sonny laugh from behind. It’s a soft, and light chuckle. Rafael turns and Sonny is leaned against the door, that smirk on his lips. He pushes himself off the wall and takes a step, hands in his pockets. “I grew up in here you know,” he starts lightly, stating the obvious.

Rafael ignores the hitch in his chest, and tilts his chin up, “oh really? Never would have guessed.”

Sonny’s smirk turns into a full-blown smile. He towers over Rafael, but nothing about it imposes dominance. He rakes his gaze up and down Rafael’s body slowly, the blue in his eyes have grown darker.

“Yeah, really. Got a lot of memories,” Sonny says, tracing a finger down Rafael’s chest lightly. “I was thinking of making a few more.”

Before Rafael can even begin to process that, let alone _think_ , Sonny spins him around and pushes. Rafael’s back hits the wall none too gently. The words ‘what’re you doing’ die in his throat as Sonny drops to his knees like strings have been cut.

“Jesus,” Rafael breathes, traitorous hands immediately reaching out to clutch in Sonny’s soft hair. “Really? Here?” He can’t help but laugh a little at Sonny’s enthusiasm.

Sonny just nods and does quick work of unbuckling Rafael’s pants, long fingers moving with practiced skill. “Yes here,” Sonny answers and gets Rafael’s pants down past his thighs and mouths at him through his underwear. The groan that comes out of Rafael’s mouth is filthy. They haven’t even gotten started. Rafael’s more than a little hard – how could he not be – everything about Sonny on his knees gets him there.

Sonny chuckles and peers up at Rafael with that shit-eating grin Rafael has learned to love and hate. “Already? Should I be flattered?”

Hate. Rafael definitely hates that look. When did Sonny get so confident? Rafael can’t believe there were days when Sonny would be shy about this. When he would ask questions; laugh nervously against Rafael’s mouth when they would make out in Rafael’s office and blush everywhere. Down to his chest.

“I’m forty-five I’m not dead,” Rafael manages to bite back and watches Sonny hum, and pull his hard, pulsing cock out of his underwear. He gives it a squeeze before placing hot kisses alongside the shaft that scorch Rafael’s skin and then, like it’s nothing at all, licks a slow line along the underside.

Rafael’s head hits the wall with a thud and he fights to keep his eyes open.   

“You know,” Sonny says conversationally, jerking him off slowly like he knows Rafael loves, “not to kill the mood, but I always wanted to get laid in here.”

Rafael blinks, trying to focus on what he’s saying. He looks down and curses that he took his eyes off this man for even a few moments. Sonny’s cock is obviously hard; it’s thick shape tenting his jeans. He’s flushed along his cheeks and his eyes are fixed on Rafael’s cock. God, his lips. Rafael runs a hand gently through the hair behind his ear. It’s gotten lighter; grey. Rafael loves it.

“You moved out when you were eighteen. You never, ah,” Rafael’s breath hitches when Sonny gives an expert twist of the wrist. His hips stutter, wanting to thrust. “brought anyone in here?”

The sexy look on Sonny’s face fades, replaced with an absolute look of incredulity. Immediately, Rafael knows where he misspoke. Sometimes Sonny was so Catholic it hurt. “In here? In my parent’s house? C’mon Rafi.”

“Can we not talk about your parents while you attempt to give me a blow job?”

Sonny’s eyebrow quirks. “Attempt huh?”

“Your mouth’s doing a lot of talking.”

Sonny snorts, his strokes get stronger, less lazy and he rubs a thumb across the slit when he works up to the tip. “Anyway, as I was saying –”

“Why are you talking,” Rafael says through gritted teeth, still running his fingers through his hair. Sonny leans into it subconsciously.

“—you wouldn’t believe the amount of times I jerked off in here. I was one horny teenager,” Sonny explains.

Rafael places his thumb between Sonny’s lips and Sonny’s tongue automatically swipes out to meet it. He sucks on it.

“And you’re one horny adult,” Rafael mutters. He really needs that mouth on his cock yesterday.

Sonny seems to be thinking the same thing and takes Rafael into his mouth gladly. Rafael’s quickly drowned in hot, wet heat. They groan in unison; Sonny sounding like he’s been starving for it all day. Maybe he was, because he gets enthusiastic about it fast. Gets sloppy with it and bobs his head, trying his best to get most of Rafael’s cock in his mouth.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Rafael curses. He wants to tell him to slow down, let them take their time with each other but he can’t bring himself to say the words because Sonny’s mouth _is doing things to him._ Short circuiting his brain like this always does to him. _Sonny_ does this to him. Sonny brings him to his _knees._

Sonny pulls off and uses the pre come and saliva to slick the way while he jerks Rafael’s cock fast. The sound it elicits is goddamn dirty and so is Sonny’s mouth. Rafael watches as he licks his lips. “You wanna fuck my mouth?”

He asks like he’s asking Rafael if he wants carrots or peas for dinner. Rafael can’t give him an answer, because Sonny swallows him down again, nearly to the root and hollows out his mouth, making sure to cover his teeth and grips Rafael’s thigh, hard.

Rafael’s only human, and he starts to move his hips. Shallow at first, knowing better than anyone that Sonny talks big game when he wants. He says he wants his mouth fucked, but Rafael doesn’t wanna hurt him.

Sonny lets his shallow thrusts go on for less than a minute before he removes his right hand from the base of Rafael’s cock and grabs hold of his hip, pressing his fingers in deep. It’s a testament to how well Rafael knows him to be able to read between the lines.

_I can take it. Harder._

He pushes in with force this time; feeling the tip of his cock hit the back of Sonny’s throat and Sonny _opens for it_. Opens his throat up for it and tentatively swallows around it and –

“F-fuck…god,” Rafael says again, watching Sonny in awe. He’s never been so hard in his life. His brain’s shot. Sonny moves his head with Rafael’s thrusts, his eyes closed with concentration. He gags a few times, choking himself with unabandoned enthusiasm but he keeps going.

“Sonny…” Rafael pants, chasing his orgasm. It’s close. He’s close. “S-Sonny, you’re gonna make me –” he’s cut off by Sonny’s moan around his cock and Sonny pulls back slowly, pinning Rafael’s hips with both hands and suckling on the tip and it’s game-over.

Rafael comes like a shot and makes a sound like he’s dying and Sonny tries to take all that he’s giving him, but some dribble past his lips. He doesn’t make a move to wipe it off; he just keeps swallowing until Rafael can’t take it anymore and pushes him off. Sonny goes reluctantly, licking his lips and swiping at anything he’s missed with the back of his hand. He’s panting too, eyes bleary as he looks up at Rafael and starts to unbuckle his own pants.

Rafael collapses on the ground with him and kisses him hard, shoving his tongue into Sonny’s mouth without a care and Sonny melts, sucking on his tongue like it’s his cock all over again. Rafael pushes him away and Sonny loses balance; now on his ass with his hands supporting his weight. Rafael wants to eat him. He pounces him. He wants to see it.

Sonny’s cock slaps onto his pale stomach, the tip of it angry and red. When Rafael gets a hand around him, Sonny’s hips jerk in response. “Tell me what you want, cariño.”

Sonny spreads his thighs wider, “M’close. Anything,” he says lowly and then bites his lip. The little shit knows exactly what kind of picture he’s painting. What he’s doing to Rafael. Rafael’s body moves before he realizes it. Crowds in closer until he’s in Sonny’s lap and presses a palm to the center of his chest, nudging a little. Sonny takes the hint and lies flat on his back and lets Rafael jerk him off fast and dirty. It’s nothing sophisticated. It’s quick and under-handed; Rafael using all the tricks he knows to push Sonny off the edge with him and the sounds coming out of Sonny’s parted lips are sinful. He’s always so loud.

Sonny comes with a shout against Rafael’s mouth and he kisses him through it, using the come that spurts out to keep pumping his cock until Sonny mumbles against his lips, “I’m good, I’m good Rafi.”

Rafael rolls off of him, heart racing still in his chest as if it wants to escape. He feels Sonny’s hand reach out and find his.

Later, when Rafael finds his voice and brain again, he remembers. He nudges Sonny with their joined hands. Sonny hums and when Rafael turns to look at him, his eyes are closed. He could be asleep. Rafael holds back the fact that they’re sweaty, come stained and exposed on the floor.

 **“** Did you actually give me a blow job out of some crazy need to finally christen your childhood bedroom?”

Sonny opens his eyes and let’s go of Rafael’s hand to try and flatten his hair. He’s not finding much luck. He shrugs, “yeah,” he says, like he’s saying ‘ _and so what?_ ’ “That was kinda the idea Counsellor.” He only calls Rafael Counsellor these days if he’s being a brat.  He looks at him with an innocent look, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. “You complaining?”

Rafael’s not. He’s really not. It’s kind of sweet, now that he thinks about it. Sonny reads his mind and grins. 

* * *

 

 

December 6th.

Sonny almost gets clipped by the door from how hard Rafael slams it behind himself, storming into his office. He slides through just in time and waits to be torn to shreds. Rafael’s phone won’t stop ringing.

“We have a rape victim on the stand testifying that her billionaire boss assaulted her and you don’t tell me she’s falsely accused rape before?” Rafael all but shouts, rounding around his desk to glare daggers at Sonny.

Sonny holds back a wince. It sounds bad; real bad, and it’s technically not his fault for the miscommunication. But he knows it’s better if Rafael lets this all out on him instead of Benson or the rest of the team. It’s mainly why he told them to back off while he handled this. 

“Look, it was an honest mistake. She didn’t tell us – “

“Oh! A victim lies by omission to the police. What a surprise!”

Sonny makes a face. Even for him, that was harsh.  “Rafi,” Sonny frowns.

Rafael raises a finger at him, a warning, as he answers his buzzing phone. Sonny raises his hands palms up in resignation. “Yes. Yes, I’ll hold,” Rafael says, eyes locked to Sonny’s, “for the mayor’s office.”

Sonny rolls his eyes and turns towards the window, where there’s a table set up with a coffee maker and aged scotch. Sonny pours one generous glass of scotch and another of lukewarm coffee, doing his best to tune out whatever verbal beating is going on behind him. Rafael ends his call and slides his phone back inside his jacket pocket.

The look of fury in his eyes is mostly gone when Sonny hands him his scotch. Sonny clinks their glasses together.

“You’re making me drink alone?” Rafael says dryly, nearly finishing the entire three fingers of scotch.

Sonny shrugs around the bitter taste of old coffee. “You need it more than I do.”

That makes Rafael scoff and he finishes the rest of his drink. “Don’t tell me what I need.”

He says it darkly beneath his breath and Sonny reads that expression like an open book. Rafael’s mind is racing; doing tactical backflips and catastrophizing every situation he can possibly think of, looking for potential ways to smother the flames of a shit situation. He’s in his head, like he always is. Not for the first time, Sonny longs for the soft, smiling Rafael who seems to only appear in small, private moments. Coming home after a long day. On short elevator rides at the courthouse together. Seated beside him at their favourite brunch spot in Manhattan; hands touching across the table.

Sonny ignores him and takes the steps necessary to crowd into his personal space. Rafael takes an involuntary step back, eyebrows furrowing in mild confusion. “What you need,” Sonny says, putting his hands on Rafael’s shoulders and pushing him into his chair, “is to relax.”

Rafael frowns, his whole face darkening as he stares up at his partner. Sonny hasn’t seen that look since the first few weeks they met each other. He doesn’t miss it.

“Trust me **,** the last thing I need to do is relax.” He looks almost mad about it; like he can’t believe Sonny would even suggest something so stupid.

“Why not?” Sonny asks calmly, smiling against that sour look. He knows he’s showing off his dimples and cheeky grin. Knows that he’s setting Rafael’s alarm bells off because his eyes narrow in suspicion. Sonny runs his hands up and down his arms, warming him up. Rafael’s not idiot. He knows when he’s being managed and it clicks in his head. His green eyes spark with recognition and dubious disbelief.

“Are… you… fucking serious right now?” He asks flatly, jaw clenched.

Sonny ditches the shy and innocent routine to slowly slide to his knees in front of Rafael, whose jaw drops.  

He rubs Rafael’s spread thighs, keeping his eyes locked with his. Rafael’s looking at him in shock; like he’s considering getting Sonny’s head checked. But he’s also looking at him with heat and desire. Sonny drops the act and puts all his cards on the table, sliding his right hand up past Rafael’s groin to cup his cock and starts to rub. He preens up on his knees and takes advantage of Rafael’s open mouth; taking no time to coax him into a kiss but steals it. Rough, dirty and nasty, sucking on Rafael’s tongue and groans with him when he feels him grow stiff and hot in his palm.

When Sonny pulls away, Rafael chases his lips and his breathing is shallow. Up this close, he can see his blown irises. Sonny smiles again and kisses him again, softer.

“I’m very serious Counsellor. You with me or no?” Sonny asks lowly.

Rafael studies him; green eyes blown dark with arousal. His eyes flit across Sonny’s face until they snap down low, to where he sees Sonny’s matching hard cock. He nods and licks his lips. “Kiss me and find out,” he teases back softly, raising his hand to cup Sonny’s jaw. Sonny hears what he’s really asking him – begging of him – between their shared breaths.

_Make me forget. Put your hands on me. Distract me. Kiss me._

Sonny kisses him gladly and Rafael presses him close, holding the back of his neck tight, like he needs him impossibly closer. Inside him. Sonny files that idea away for later. When they have more time, and don’t have to be back in court in fifteen minutes.

Sonny unbuckles Rafael’s belt and sneaks his hand into his briefs, pulling out his half-hard cock through the slit there. Rafael spreads his legs wider, granting him more access.

Sonny can barely control himself whenever he lays eyes on Rafael’s cock. Really, he should feel embarrassed about it, especially by this point in their relationship. But Sonny has also realized that Rafael does some weird shit to him that in turn does some crazy things to his brain. It’s _frustrating_ , how crazy he gets when Rafael’s dick is in his sights, in his hands, in his _mouth_. In all of his sexual history, Sonny’s never been more turned on in his life than when he’s with Rafael. Than when he gets on his knees for Rafael. He’s never been so damn easy. Not that he’d ever admit that to him.

“I’m gonna make you feel real good Raf, just trust me,” Sonny says, smearing the bit of pre-come that’s collected at the top around the wide tip, and then does just so. Twisting his tongue around it and sinking down with a moan that comes from somewhere deep in his chest, setting him on fire.

* * *

 

12 minutes later.

Sonny takes deep breaths; his whole body is hot – aflame – and he presses his face against Rafael’s skin. He massages Rafael’s thigh; feels it quiver underneath his hands, coaxing him back down from his orgasm.

“I think…” Rafael pants above him, voice sounding dazed, “I think you have an obsession.”

The ‘with my dick’ is unsaid, but it’s _heard._ Sonny glances up at him. Rafael tilts his head back down to meet his gaze, the corner of his mouth quirked up. Of course. _Of course_ , Rafael’s got his number. Sonny can’t stop the blush heating up his cheeks and ears at being caught out, so he rolls his eyes and takes another kiss for himself, loving the way Rafael’s tongue dives into his mouth to steal the taste of himself.  

“I’m obsessed with you, dummy,” Sonny reassures him when they part, kissing him on the cheek and tucking him back into his briefs and zipping him up.

The look of awe and adoration on Rafael’s face proves that he’s just left him breathless in more ways than one.

 

* * *

 

 

February 22nd

Rafael slams his file on the table. It makes a banging sound in the empty courtroom and causes Sonny to jump in his seat, his eyes wide at the interruption.

“Will you knock it off?” Rafael snaps, hands placed on the smooth wooden table. He keeps his eyes on his notes and not on the man seated in front of him. It’s easier to sound pissed than to beg him at this point.

Sonny, on the other hand, has the gall to look confused. “Uh, knock what off?” He sounds believable. That’s the insane part.

Rafael scoffs unkindly, “you know what.” He gathers what little strength and will power he has left and looks up and…

Sonny looks _good._ In the time they’ve been together, he’s finally grown into his own; he talks like a leader during cases and walks with confidence that’s been cultivated, not put on for show. He’s a mature, elevated version of the man Rafael first met. Gone are the days of over gelled, slicked back hair accompanied by ill fitted suits. Sonny’s hair is lightly styled, coifed to the side and his navy, three pieced suit hugs his body in ways that makes Rafael lose track of his own thoughts on most days. He doesn’t need to peak over the witness stand to know his pants are complimenting his long thighs like a work of art. Sonny catches attention these days; of both men and women when he struts down the halls of the courtroom, oblivious to their looks. He could blend into the streets of hipster Manhattan or the upper East side easy now. And he’s Rafael’s.

Sometimes, it hard for him to believe his luck.

Now, he wants nothing more than to strangle him.

He’s getting nothing from Sonny, who continues to look at him with a clueless, dubious look on his face and Rafael has had enough. He refuses to submit to this any longer; to be smacked around like some sort of play thing by a man ten years his junior. And since when did their roles get so drastically reversed? Rafael feels like a mouse being played with cruelly before dinner.

“That look you’re giving me,” Rafael states clearly. He feels like he’s prosecuting a case. “We have a case to win.”

“I know that,” Sonny says, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but his eyes say something else. He’s playing him. It’s clear as day to see; it’s not just in the dark look that he’s giving him, it’s in his mouth. The way Sonny had been nibbling and licking his lips while pretending to listen to Rafael go over the list of questions. The way he would not-so-secretly check him out when he paced along the courtroom. It was in the way he batted his eyelashes and leaned back in his seat, pretending to think over an answer he already knew just to casually spread his legs, open his body up for admiration. And what pissed Rafael off more, was how easy he fell for it. How badly distracted he had gotten and how hot he’d grown under the collar.

“We’re in the middle of prep,” Rafael bites, like he’s speaking to a particularly dim child.

Sonny just waves him off, the argument beneath him and comes out from behind the witness stand. He approaches slowly, hands deep in his pockets like he’s going for a leisurely stroll and not that he’s on the prowl. When did this happen? Maybe he really had been spending too much time working over time in his office to notice the change. Sonny moves like a panther, coming for the kill with that pretty smirk on his lips. Rafael swallows, standing up straight while Sonny stops in front of him, wrapping his stupidly long arms around his waist and pulling him into a hug. It’s meant to be sweet, but the way Sonny’s hands begin to roam everywhere suggest otherwise.

His hands are so big. His height a gentle, open offering. Rafael doesn’t realize he’s clutching him back, his hands roaming everywhere until it’s too late. Sonny’s grip slides down to his ass, giving it a squeeze.

“C’mon,” Sonny goads, laughter and happiness in his voice, “don’t you wanna?”

“No,” Rafael lies.

Sonny laughs in his face. “Not even a little? But I’m bored.” The thirty-five-year-old has the nerve to pout. His plush bottom lip poking out and his eyes widening. Rafael loathes that that looks works on him, and that Sonny knows it.

“Nice try.”

Sonny smiles, takes hold of Rafael’s hand and swings their hands between them joyfully.

Rafael frowns, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach that erupt. “What are we? Twelve?”

“ _I’d_ be twelve,” Sonny corrects, “you’d be committing –”

“Still not funny.”

“Okay, how about this; ten minutes. You and me. And then we’ll get back to work,” Sonny suggests, “sound fair?” He wriggles his eyebrows.

Yes. “I don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

Sonny only laughs; the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes defining themselves. He’s beautiful. Daring and tempting and it’s all a game to him. Sonny would back off easy if he knew Rafael didn’t want it. Wasn’t in the mood.

“Alright,” Sonny says and takes a step back towards the witness stand, taking Rafael with him by a foot before letting go of their hands. Rafael grabs his hand back the second those fingers leave his, and tugs Sonny back towards him.

“Woah,” Sonny says softly, stumbling a little as he falls into Rafael, bumping into one of the tables. Rafael listens to Sonny get his bearings and chuckle deeply into his ear for as long as he can handle, before turning his head and taking his mouth. God, he always tastes so sweet…

“Okay, fine, you win,” Rafael breathes when they part, reaching up to unbutton Sonny’s shirt so he can see him. He doesn’t stop until the dress shirt is undone completely, displaying Sonny’s body. All that flushed, creamy skin and lightly dusted chest hair that travels down his navel and disappears at the buckle of his pants.

Rafael’s mouth runs dry. “A short recess.”

“Mmm…okay. Yeah,” Sonny agrees loosely, like this was never his idea. “Sounds good.” He nuzzles at Rafael’s jaw and manhandles him, pushing Rafael against the table until he gets the hint and sits on it, letting Sonny get in between his legs. He sighs happily when he feels Rafael rub at his nipples, getting them hard.

“What do you want? Tell me,” Rafael asks eventually, nudging Sonny’s mouth away from his neck so he can look at him. He’s flushed along the cheeks, and his breathing is uneven.

“What I always want,” Sonny offers, a little hesitant, like a secret. Rafael feels all the blood in his body rush south, pooling hot in his belly by the admission. He wants it too. God knows how many times a day Rafael’s mind wanders to Sonny’s mouth on his dick.

He knows better than to call Sonny out on his kink or tease him about it. It’ll only embarrass him and Sonny has spent enough time struggling to be comfortable with his sexuality to have Rafael ruin it all for a cheap joke.

“You’re lucky we have ten minutes,” Rafael says lightly.

“Less now, actually,” Sonny mumbles under his breath, always ready to clock Rafael when he can. His eyes are lowered to the bulge in Rafael’s pants. Instead of taking them off, Sonny starts to unbuckle his own. Rafael’s breath hitches and he’s rendered motionless as Sonny takes himself out of his navy-blue trousers, his long cock pink and hard in his hand.

Rafael can’t breathe. He watches, transfixed, as Sonny slowly fucks into his fist, his eyes still staring at Rafael’s hidden cock, tenting his pants. Rafael watches the red tip of it pump through the tight fist Sonny has made for himself.

“Show me, please…I wanna see it,” Sonny mutters, jerking himself off lazily, and then groans when he rubs a thumb over the head of his cock just the way Rafael knows he likes it. It’s obscenely loud in the courtroom. It echoes. “Show me it first before I suck you. Rafi. Please.”

 

* * *

 

June 30th

Somehow, Rafael gets roped into having dinner with Sonny’s sisters to celebrate Gina’s engagement. It was meant to be a strict sibling gathering, but Sonny all but begged for Rafael to not leave him alone. Stranded at yet another engagement party with a guy he doesn’t even remotely like.

“You’ll make my mood better,” Sonny explained, dropping his entire body weight on top of Rafael in his bed, caging him between his arms and his warm body so Rafael couldn’t escape this conversation. Or from Sonny’s begging, wide blue eyes.

“Seriously Raf, I might end up doing something stupid if you’re not there. You’re like seventy percent of my impulse control these days. Please, I’m begging you here.” And then the bastard started kissing Rafael everywhere; his nose, his forehead, his chin, between his eyebrows and Rafael was only human.

So that’s why he’s here. Sitting next to Sonny while Teresa does her toast, -- it’s going in order of eldest to youngest, Sonny’s turn is around the corner – and Rafael has watched him roll his eyes so many times they should have popped right out of his head by now. Rafael covers his smile behind his glass of scotch.

Sonny keeps reminding him under his breath that this is, in fact, the fourth engagement party he’s witnessed and the fourth man he’s pretended to like. Every time the word ‘engaged’ or ‘engagement’ falls out of someone’s mouth, Sonny makes it a point to add a ‘fourth’ after it. Which is to say, he’s reminded Rafael more times than he can count, and the night has barely started.

"Fourth," Sonny mutters into his glass again as Teresa ends her toast. Rafael snorts. Most of their plates have been cleared and the round table is cluttered with champagne and bottles of expensive red Rafael brought over.

“Ow,” Sonny says petulantly, when Bella pinches his arm.

“Have some respect,” Bella whispers, while everyone claps. Sonny just rolls his eyes and pours himself a tall glass of Bordeaux.

Rafael watches him drink most of it in one long gulp. He’s only seen Sonny drink like that when the Giants lose. Or when he’s playing a drinking game with Rollins, knocking back cheap beer like its water and saying to Rafael later, drunk in a cab, snuggled up and more affectionate than he typically is in public: “M’getting old Rafi. I woulda beat her _easy_ in college.”

When the clapping dies down, all eyes turn to Sonny who stands up. Rafael barely holds back his surprise that he doesn’t sway on his feet for how much he’s been drinking. He holds his glass in his hand and gives Gina and her fiancé a soft smile. “I can’t believe my big sister Gina is getting married,” he starts, sounding like a man who wasn’t just pounding wine back for the past hour and a half. It takes everything in Rafael’s power not to burst out laughing right then and there. Sometimes Sonny plays between the grey area of "I didn't realize what I just said" and "I know exactly what I just said" so well, it was hard to be angry with him about it. It's also one of the reasons why Rafael loves him. 

"Gina, despite all the times you would dress me up as doll because you wanted another sister,” he’s flat out grinning now, watching his sisters burst out laughing in remembrance, “all the dumb brawls we got into and that time I was so mad at you I put gum in your hair while you slept – yeah, I’m still sorry about that,” Sonny says, catching the look on Gina’s face. Still a sore spot. “We still have each other's backs through anything. I’m proud of you, I love you, I'm happy for you, thank you for not inviting ma because she’d be crying now. Again. So, here’s to Gina," Sonny gazes over to the groom to be. “And to you Jeff, welcome to the family.”

It sounds like a threat. It is a threat and only five people in the room know it. Tommy visibly winces.

“Cheers!” Sonny finishes with a grin and sits back down while the table claps. Gina blows him a kiss. Rafael reaches for his hand under the table and leans in when the attention moves off of Sonny and onto Bella.

“You are a menace.”

Sonny smiles and squeezes his hand. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he lies. “Hey, Raf. I’d really like some water.” His eyes are red and a little bleary. Drunk.  

“How about a coffee,” Rafael counters and smirks when Sonny groans.

“I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rafael mutters.

* * *

 

Standing outside the restaurant, Rafael barely has time to place an order for an Uber before Sonny steals his phone out of his hands gracefully. There’s a mischievous look in his eyes when he says, “let’s walk home.”

That still makes something powerful pang in his chest every time Sonny refers to Rafael’s place as home.  He does his best to quell it as he blinks up at Sonny. “That’s a thirty-minute walk,” he says flatly.

Sonny just shrugs and takes a teasing step back, “it’s a beautiful summer night. It’ll be romantic.”

It’s a trap. It’s such an obvious trap.

“Romantic,” Rafael repeats, equally as flatly as before. “I thought I was done romancing you.”

That gets Sonny’s attention, his playfulness dies a little to be replaced with incredulity. “When did you ever romance me?”

“I take offence to that statement.”

Sonny gives him a look. He’s done playing around.  “Come on, let’s take a walk,” he says seriously and offers his arm. Rafael stares at him, immobile, until Sonny bats his eyelashes comically and it’s game over. Rafael laughs and links his arm with Sonny’s before switching to hold his hand instead because he is a grown man and he has boundaries, even for Sonny.

* * *

 

Turns out it is a beautiful summer night; the breeze is warm and the nightlife isn’t too wild, which is saying something for New York. Rafael lets Sonny lead them through detours and off major paths when it gets too crowded, his hand never leaving Rafael’s.

“It was bad,” Sonny finishes, they’re walking at a leisurely stroll down west 15th street. “I was grounded for a month.”

Rafael balks at that, despite Sonny nodding his truth. “Yup. My mother? Ruled with an iron fist. After she shaved Gina’s hair, I was toast.”

It’s impossible to not laugh at young, thirteen-year-old Sonny’s misery. “That’s rough.”

Sonny shrugs, a wistful smile on his face that he tends to get whenever he makes Rafael laugh even a little. Like it’s something he’s proud of achieving and holds the moment close to remember and turn over later. “Yeah well, I deserved it. I was a shit back then.”

Rafael opens his mouth but Sonny beats him to it. “And I’m a shit now right?” He’s smug and laughs loudly, his eyes squinting when Rafael scowls and let’s go of his hand to shove him away. Sonny steps right back to his side and takes his hand again, squeezing tight when Rafael tries to shake him off.

“I hate you.”

“Mhm, hate you too Counsellor,” Sonny says, suddenly distracted. His attention is up ahead, across a street where a Chinese restaurant’s yellow and red neon lights glow despite the place being closed. He stops walking and takes a quick look around. The streets mostly theirs.

“What?” Rafael asks, half afraid of the answer. Sonny’s mind is doing mental gymnastics, which in Rafael’s books means trouble.

Sonny turns and looks down at him, a suspiciously pleasant smile on his face to hide his mischief. “Hey, I got an idea.”

Figures.

“No,” Rafael says, seeing right through that saccharine smile, but Sonny isn’t listening and he drags him towards the restaurant. His long legs lead them there quickly and Rafael has to jog a little to keep pace.  “It’s closed you moron,” Rafael calls out behind him.

“I know that,” Sonny says, unaffected by the insult and stops them beside the restaurant. Rafael looks at his partner. The man he’s chosen to spend the rest of his days with. The love of his life. His better and worst half. His soul mate, who inclines his head towards the dimly lit alleyway between the restaurant with the obvious question in his eyes.

“You can’t be serious,” Rafael says, despite the insanely instant adrenaline spike pumping through his blood. Shooting up his spine and setting him alight. God, this man could ask him to jump and he would ask how high, if it meant he’d get Sonny’s hands on him. His warm, wet mouth against his. To have his body close.

Sonny answers in pulling him into the darkness of the alley, deep enough that people walking by wouldn’t see them, and turns. He presses himself against the dirty brick wall. He’s relaxed. His beautiful, long and firm body languid from the amount of drinks still coursing through his system. Rafael feels drunk, looking at him. Remembering that this man is all his. That Sonny wants him; apparently, all the time. All the protests Rafael had die a quick death in his head and reaches for him, feeling Sonny’s sharp hipbones and rubbing his thumbs into them deeply. He kisses the smirk off of Sonny’s quick mouth.

“Have I told you lately that I hate you?” Rafael murmurs helplessly up at him. Sonny makes a thoughtful noise and runs his hands down Rafael’s body lazily. Mapping the parts he loves; Rafael’s stomach, his chest, his ass.

“Maybe,” Sonny responds, like it’s an afterthought. “Kiss me?”

Like Rafael would have to think about if he wanted to. Like it’s not the best thing he’s allowed to do. To take.

He does. And is graced with Sonny openly moaning when he kisses him, deeply. Rising to his toes to get better access while Sonny tilts his head down and cradles Rafael’s jaw like this means the world to him. Rafael can taste the alcohol in Sonny’s mouth and it only makes him wanna sweep his tongue deeper, just to find the taste that is wholly _Sonny._ He finds it, and it sends all of his blood south despite himself. Rafael pulls away reluctantly. It’s difficult; he would gladly spend the rest of his life just kissing Sonny and never move past it. Sonny wraps a hand around his waist to pull him back.

“Let’s go home,” Rafael murmurs, weak kneed. He wants to be inside him.

Sonny gives a throaty groan, rubbing his back and kneading the muscles there. “God, I want you now,” he pleads, almost childishly. Rafael can feel it too, his need, against his hip. He looks down at it and heat pools low in his stomach.

Rafael raises an eyebrow, “here?” He asks to be sure.

Sonny nods fervently and bites his earlobe, tugging on it as he pulls back and that’s all it takes to get him on board. Rafael quiets the large part of his brain – the ingrained, stern, Harvard voice – that gives him over ten reasons why sex in public is a bad idea for an ADA. He ignores them all because he has a warm, wanting and horny Sonny in his hands, and little is known to stop him when Sonny says yes. When Sonny wants him this bad he can’t wait to get home.

Rafael tilts his head and steals another kiss, his tongue twisting along with Sonny’s and he pushes off Sonny’s jacket until it reaches his elbows so he can unbutton his shirt enough to see more skin. Sonny laughs, happy and excited and turned on, digging his fingers into the top of Rafael’s pants.

“We have to be quick,” Rafael says lowly, not knowing where to begin. There’s so much of him. Luckily, Sonny beats him to it. He spins them around, so Rafael is the one with his back against the wall and Rafael gets the hint. He chuckles, nestling his fingers in the grey strands of hair on the side of Sonny’s head. “We’re gonna get arrested.”

Sonny, the cop slash lawyer, has the audacity to shrug and slowly falls to his knees. The ground is disgusting; muddying up his dress pants but Sonny doesn’t seem to care and Rafael can’t find it within himself to point it out because Sonny is pressing his face against his hardening cock, nuzzling almost fervently before pulling Rafael out of his zipper like this had been his goal the whole time. It probably was.

“You planned this,” Rafael says, running a hand through Sonny’s hair. It’s dark; he can barely see Sonny’s face anymore and the restaurant lights continue to buzz lowly and flash above them, flickering Sonny’s silhouette in gold and red.

“I’m just full of surprises,” Sonny says, looking at Rafael’s hard cock with wide eyes and mouth parted, his breaths coming in shallow. Rafael cups his jaw gently despite the pounding of his heart and feels the short stubble that’s grown there. That’s all the warning Rafael has before he’s taken into Sonny’s wet mouth. He grips the wall behind him tightly for balance and strength and prays for some goddamn willpower.

Sonny isn’t taking his time. He goes down on him like there’s a time limit, easily taking Rafael to the root and back to the tip with urgency and delight. Sonny moans around the tip, eyes falling closed in pleasure like it’s him who’s getting the blow job of a lifetime.

Rafael orgasm spikes out of nowhere; Sonny getting him there in no time and a part of him feels as though he should be embarrassed. He’s not sixteen anymore. He shouldn’t be this close to coming in less than five minutes, but the things Sonny’s doing -- expertly -- is unbearable. When he dares to glance down, Sonny senses him looking and opens his eyes, and that’s all it takes. Rafael groans as his orgasm punches through him and watches, half out of his mind, as Sonny drinks him down with practiced ease until he’s finished. Sonny pulls off, chest heaving as he gets back to his feet. He smiles, running a hand through his hair and looking a little smug as he watches Rafael fight to catch his own breath. God, he’s getting too old for this.

The outside world slowly starts to come back into existence when Sonny nods down at Rafael’s exposed cock, a cheerful look smeared across his face. “Penal Code, section 245.01,” he says in a sing-song voice and shakes his head at Rafael, mock-disappointed as he zips Rafael back up, “that’s a class A misdemeanor Counsellor.”

Rafael stares up at Sonny, who sticks his hands in his pockets, rocks back on his heels and smiles. Rafael brushes past him and steps back onto the street, speed walking away from him. “Hope you enjoy sleeping on the couch,” he throws over his shoulder.

Sonny bursts into laughter and jogs after him, catching up easily and wraps a long arm around Rafael’s shoulders, kissing him sweet on the cheek.  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”

* * *

 

July 19th

Sonny’s dying.

He’s sleep-deprived, he’s hungry, the Bar exam is in six days and he’s _dying._

His internet browser has so many tabs open that he’s lost count, and the words on the practice MPT exam have already started to blur together. Sonny heaves a sigh and runs a hand through his hair. It flops back into his eyes. He thinks about maybe getting up to wash it; maybe a shower is what he needs to restart his brain. But that would mean going into Rafael’s bedroom, where the bathroom is and the last thing he wants to do is wake him up.

It’s been a long week. A long case that ended with a mistrial and a disheartened partner who wanted to be alone to sulk. To drive himself crazy and turn over where he went wrong. Sonny has learned first hand the best thing to do when Rafael gets like this is to give him the space he wants, even when all he wants to do is hold him close.

Sonny turns back to the mess in front of him. Stacks of open and unopened books, notes, flash cards, pens and a cold cup of half drunken coffee scattered around the kitchen table. Sonny reaches for one of his criminal law books and flips it open to where he left off.

That lasts for about ten minutes.

“Fuck,” Sonny says, rubbing his eyes. Maybe Rafael was right. He needs glasses. “God, I’m getting old.”

“Oh shut up.”

Sonny whirls around in his seat. Rafael pads into the kitchen, rolling his eyes at Sonny’s overreaction and goes straight for the liquor cabinet. His hair is askew and he’s topless, barefoot, wearing his favourite red silk pajama pants. He’s also wearing his reading glasses. Sonny really wishes he wouldn’t; Rafael’s gorgeous all the time, no contest, but something about him changes when he wears them. It ages him about five more years, and the grey in his stubble and hair only add to look. Sonny wonders what that says about him; that _this_ is what gets him going.

Somewhere, in the depths of his mind, is Amanda calling him out for his shameless kink.

But right now, it doesn't matter.

Rafael is irrefutably sexy and he’s _distracting_ , is what he is, and he needs to be _productive here._

“Scotch? At this hour?” Sonny questions, eyebrows raised. It’s 1:30 in the morning. He gets a careless shrug as an answer.

“It’s Saturday. I have the day off,” he mentions, taking a sip and then seems to finally notice the mess in his kitchen. “Is everything alright?”

Sonny tenses in his seat and turns away to glare at his laptop. The problem-solving question he’s been looking at for what feels like days glares back at him. “Everything’s fine,” he grumbles.

“Right,” Rafael says disbelievingly, setting his drink down and comes to stand behind him. He slides his arms down Sonny’s chest and places his chin on the top of his head. Sonny doesn’t need to have a second pair of eyes to know that Rafael’s reading the exam question. He hums above him. “So, what’s the problem?”

“Nothing’s the problem.”

Rafael tilts his head to look at him, waiting for more. When Sonny doesn’t budge, he slips away from him and crosses his arms. Sonny rolls his eyes and crosses his arms too, annoyed. He can’t look him in the eye. He chooses instead to glower at the stupid computer screen for answers.

Sonny caves first. “Okay, look. Rafi, no offence, I love you, but I don’t want you around when I’m studying,” Sonny admits, in a “there I said it” finalized tone. Rafael just frowns at him, like Sonny is a particularly difficult equation.

“Why? You know I wouldn’t give you any answers.”

“That’s not the point,” Sonny says, tired and he pinches the bridge of his nose. God, this is why he never wanted to have this conversation. “I just…I need to do this on my own.”

“You are,” Rafael says, eyebrows furrowed, “mi amor…” he starts. And something literally shatters in Sonny’s chest at the vulnerable tone in Rafael’s voice when he calls him that. “You haven’t had a good night’s rest in two days. You can’t expect to do your best if you don’t take it easy,” Rafael says softly, closing the distance between them to put a hand on his shoulder. “Trust me. It wasn’t too long ago I was in your spot.”

Sonny can’t stop himself, “I hate to break it to you but I’m pretty sure 1945 was a long time ago.” Rafael pinches his side for that one but he’s smiling. He finishes his drink and pours himself another two fingers of scotch and one for Sonny.

Rafael pads over and hands it to Sonny, who turns to accept it gratefully. “Thanks, I could use a –”

His voice dies a pitiful death in his throat when he finds himself eye level with Rafael’s crotch. It’s only for a moment, but now that he’s seen it, he can’t exactly unsee it. Rafael’s leaning back against the kitchen counter, digging his phone out of his pocket and checking his emails. The ridiculous silk material of his pajama pants is thin enough to not leave much to the imagination. Not that Sonny has to imagine what Rafael’s dick looks like, thank you very much.

Sonny downs his drink and tries to focus on the fiery burn. He pulls a book close and starts to make notes of what he’s already highlighted. But…

He sneaks a glance to his right, where Rafael is sending a rapid-fire email. He’s completely in his own world that he doesn’t realize his glasses are sliding off his nose. Sonny’s fingers twitch.

Against everything, his mind is racing with what he wants to do with this man in front of him; oblivious to how he looks right now. So effortlessly sexy and comfortable in his skin that all Sonny can think about is crawling over to him, hooking his fingers into his waistbands and –

God. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. Sonny looks back at his notes, feeling his cock stir in his sweats. He’s always loved giving pleasure to his partners. This doesn’t exactly come as a surprise. There’s nothing else like it; knowing that all the power is in his hands. That _he’s_ what’s making them lose control, moan his name and want more of his touch, his mouth. It’s always satisfying to witness.

But when it’s with Rafael? It’s more. It’s all he can think about; sitting at his desk and zoning out, thinking about all the ways he’ll get to have Rafael once the day is over.

(It happens _a lot._ Amanda takes it upon herself to smack him upside the head with a newspaper or file to snap him out of it.)

“Alright,” Rafael sighs, pocketing his phone and holding another glass of scotch. He’s adjusted his glasses. “I’ll leave you to it. But come to bed soon.”

He moves to leave. Sonny slams his book shut.

Rafael jolts a little at the sudden movement, one eyebrow quirked in question as Sonny gets to his feet and walks over. The curious look in Rafael’s eye fades to amusement when Sonny cages him with his body; bracing his hands on either side of him and tilting his head down. He doesn’t even have to _ask_. Rafael leans up to kiss him.

The feeling of Rafael’s stubble against his own sends goosebumps down his arms. Sonny cradles his face, thumbing his warm skin, his cheekbone. He slips a hand around Rafael’s waist, pulling his hips close so he can feel how hot he’s gotten. Rafael smirks against his lips and gives Sonny a firm squeeze between his legs.

“I thought you had to ‘study’,” Rafael teases. The emphasis on ‘study’ depicting how stupid he thinks that idea is.

“Someone told me I should take it easy,” Sonny counters, stepping away briefly just to pull his shirt over his head and toss it somewhere behind him and then he’s back in Rafael’s arms, sighing when he feels Rafael’s bare skin touch his own.

“Come to bed,” Rafael breathes, his green eyes glazed over with arousal and god, that idea is tempting. Sonny groans into Rafael’s neck, breathing in deep with how much he wants it; to be face down and have Rafael fuck him into the mattress until he’s begging to come. Until he’s gasping into the pillow, clutching the sheets and his thighs spread wide. “Come to bed,” Rafael asks again.

* * *

 

They’re both naked when Sonny pulls Rafael on top of him on the bed. He parts his legs to give him room between them, getting Rafael where he wants him and Rafael grinds his hard cock against Sonny’s. Sonny reaches down blindly, wrapping a fist around both their cocks and rubbing his thumb over Rafael’s tip. 

“Ah…” Rafael gasps, his mouth inches away from Sonny’s. Green on blue. His eyebrows are furrowed, concentration in his eyes to hold on. Sonny pouts his mouth for a kiss and Rafael gives in; a deep, exploring kiss that has his tongue lost in Sonny’s mouth, leaving him breathless when he pulls away and moves to suck kisses along Sonny’s jaw. Not caring that he’ll leave bruises against his pale skin.

It drives Sonny a little crazy. His neck has always been a sensitive spot for him and Rafael; smug, loving Rafael knows it and abuses it. Sonny could come from just this. He grinds up into Rafael for more. But he doesn’t wanna come like this. Not tonight.

Sonny moves his hand down Rafael’s sweat glistened back and smacks him sharply on his ass. Rafael gets the message and looks at him, mouth bruised and dark hair clinging to his forehead. He looks at Sonny with the question in his eyes. “Move up for me,” Sonny says. It’s not even remotely a question and Rafael’s eyes widen, understanding Sonny’s intention fully. Sonny feels his cock jump in his hand and can’t stop the cocky grin that splits his face.

Rafael moves up his body until his thighs bracket Sonny’s shoulders. Sonny can’t see his face anymore, but he doesn’t have to. He knows Rafael is gripping the headboard above them. The only thing in his sights is Rafael’s hard cock, bobbing up from a nest of closely trimmed dark curls. Sonny’s pretty sure he’s died and gone to some sort of twisted, filthy heaven for how turned on he is. He can’t remember the last time he’s been this hard. This breathless, dazed and focused. They’ve done this enough times for there to be no need for instruction. Rafael moves his hips forward and Sonny opens his mouth.

Rafael’s cock slides into his mouth easily; salty and heavy against his tongue. Sonny grips his hips to control the rhythm of him pumping into his mouth. He relaxes his throat and groans, closing his eyes when he hears Rafael over him, cursing in Spanish and panting, like it’s taking everything he has not to shoot off right this second. Rafael knows how much Sonny lives for this; having his cock deep in his mouth and wants to make it last, for both their sakes.

In this position, Sonny can barely suck. He can only take it; take Rafael’s slow and measured thrusts into his mouth and try his best not to gag. He levels his breathing and closes his eyes – concentrating – as more pre-come gathers at the tip of Rafael’s cock and trickles down his throat. He swallows around it and hears Rafael moan his name. Feels his thighs quiver in his grip. There isn’t much time.

Rafael’s hand finds itself in Sonny’s hair, running through the soft loose curls and moving in soothing circles. It’s a sharp contrast to how he’s picking up the pace, fucking his mouth off rhythm. Sonny reaches down to grip the base of his cock just as Rafael pulls out and comes across Sonny’s chest. It goes on for a while; ropes of white come painting his chest and navel. Rafael’s face is twisted, almost in pain, as every last drop hits Sonny’s flushed skin. The sight of it sears itself into Sonny’s memory.

Rafael bats Sonny’s hand away and takes hold of his leaking cock; bending to press a hot open-mouthed kiss to the tip, wanting to return the favour. Sonny presses his head back into the pillows, his thighs falling open. Rafael chuckles darkly between his legs.  “Fuck me,” Sonny says. Rafael glances up. “Fuck me instead Rafi. Please,” he begs. He angles his hips up and Rafael places another sweet kiss to his cock, and then his mouth before leaning for the nightstand.

* * *

 

Sonny rolls over, loose-limbed and yet, well-rested to turn off the alarm. He opens one eye to read the time. 8:45am. Sonny rubs his face, wanting nothing more to stay in bed.

He lies in bed for another ten minutes, almost falling asleep again to the sound of Rafael’s even and deep breathing beside him. The moment his feet touch the floor, a strong tanned arm wraps around his waist and tugs him back into the soft mattress.

“Hey,” Sonny laughs. He turns in Rafael’s arms; whose eyes are still closed but a small smile is on his face. It’s pure instinct, that makes Sonny throw his leg over Rafael’s and that has his fingers thread through the greys gathering on the edges of his dark hair.

“I gotta get home,” Sonny whispers, “I’m running out of clothes staying here Raf.”

He shifts to get up again, the shower is calling his name, when Rafael holds onto him tighter. Sonny rolls his eyes, about to open his mouth to counter whatever excuse Rafael’s gonna give him (again) to stay an extra night when –

“Stay,” Rafael mutters, eyes still closed. “Move in with me.”

Sonny’s pretty sure his heart has stopped. His throat feels tight and his heart is throwing itself so hard against his ribcage he thinks it’s trying to fucking escape. His silence makes Rafael finally open his eyes. His beautiful, deep green eyes are alert, despite the early hour. He’s waiting.

“You sure you’re not still high off endorphins?” Sonny asks, finding that going for levity works than giving into the raw emotion bursting in his chest. “That’s not just your dick talking?”

Rafael’s lip quirks. Half his face hidden against the pillow. “Shut up.”

Sonny sits up straight and yanks at Rafael’s arm, giving him the hint to follow suit. This isn’t a conversation you have half-awake. Rafael rolls onto his back and tilts his head in Sonny’s direction. There’s no sign of fear or insecurity on his face. He looks relaxed. Prepared. Sure. Sonny narrows his eyes.

“You just want me in your bed everyday,” he says, unable to stop his face from splitting into a full blown grin. Rafael’s eyes soften looking at him.

“And that’s bad…how?”

Sonny kisses him, covering him with his body. Rafael rubs his back, smiling against his mouth. He pulls back, but not before pressing another kiss to his mouth. “You haven’t said yes yet.”

Sonny just rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop smiling. “Yes. Yes, Rafael. I’ll move in with you.”

His face hurts. Rafael’s eyes are shining.

* * *

 

+1.

January 1st

“Take it easy fellas,” Fin says as Sonny walks him out. He’s the last one to leave their apartment after the ball drops. Liv and Amanda were both keen in getting back home to relieve their babysitters and check on their kids. Sonny shuts the door and locks it behind him.

“Not that I don’t enjoy their company, but thank god they’re all gone.”

Sonny rolls his eyes. He was waiting for that and he turns around with a wry smile, a little exasperated. Rafael’s busying himself in the kitchen, two glass flutes in one grip and a cold bottle of champagne in the other. He looks beautiful and something takes hold in Sonny’s chest every time he looks at him. Like it’s the first time all over again. He’s dressed in a black suit; casual, without the vest and suspenders and the top buttons of his dress shirt are undone.

“Too much socializing for one night?” Sonny asks and nods to the champagne in question. He’s already a little buzzed. Rafael doesn’t answer and nods his head towards the open balcony.

“Come with me.”

The view outside is breathtaking. Not that Sonny’s never been on this balcony before, but tonight there’s something different about it. Something special. Maybe it has something to do with the fireworks, that are still going off and exploding into the night sky. Or maybe it’s the fact that this is the end of a year and the beginning of another one with Rafael as his partner in life. Sonny looks to said partner, who’s looking at him already with a warm expression on his face. Sonny raises an eyebrow, straightening from his lean on the banister.

“What? Something on my face?” Sonny asks, half-serious. He ate a lot of fettucine alfredo for dinner. When Rafael does nothing but snort, Sonny wipes at his mouth.

“Yeah actually,” Rafael says and then frowns with pity. “It’s right in the middle of your face.”

It takes about five seconds for Sonny to catch on and he purses his lips, making a face. “Another nose joke? Those are getting a little old.”

“Not to me they’re not,” Rafael laughs and pops the cork.

Sonny squints down at him, “how many glasses have you had already?” He doesn’t really have to ask; Rafael and Liv spent some good solid minutes talking, knees touching on the couch while making a good dent in her cabernet. Rafael shrugs, expertly filling both glasses without any help. Sonny takes the offered flute. “Anything in particular we’re cheering to?” That annoying, warm feeling in his heart is acting up again.

Rafael’s lips tug up, “I can think of a few things,” he says quietly. They don’t need to say it. Sonny smiles and lets their glasses clink.

Rafael doesn’t take his eyes off Sonny while he takes his sip and Sonny feels his cheeks start to get warm. “Okay seriously, Raf, why’re you looking at me like that?” He’s more than just a little confused, because he knows that look. Boy, does he know it. Only, he only sees it when they’re alone. Usually where there’s a bed or flat surface around…

Sonny blinks. And then smirks, raising his eyebrows in mock-surprise. “D’you think I’m sexy Rafi?” He can’t help himself. He expects Rafael to roll his eyes and walk back into the apartment, not forgetting to lock him out on the balcony. Only, Rafael doesn’t do that. He takes Sonny’s drink out his hand and sets it down on the floor along with his own. Then, he crowds close to him, placing a hand to the center of Sonny’s chest.

“Mhm,” he confirms, eyes focused on Sonny’s chest. His hands roam everywhere. Sonny’s confident his brain has left the building.

“My eyes are up here Counsellor,” he says. His voice has lost all hints of teasing; it’s low and dazed. Rafael ignores him and starts to unbutton his white shirt.

“I’ve been waiting for this since you got dressed,” Rafael confesses, taking his time with the buttons. It’s a cold, winter night and Sonny can’t feel any of it. Not anymore. “Coming out of the bathroom dressed like this. I thought you did it on purpose, just to fuck with me. But of course, you’re oblivious to how you look.”

It’s a talent, truly, how Rafael can combine insults within grandiose admissions of desire.

He tugs the shirt out of Sonny’s pants and pops the button, slowly getting to his knees. Sonny’s knees briefly give out at the sight of it. They’re on the eleventh floor of a metropolitan high-rise building on one of the busiest nights of the year. It’s not exactly private (not that Sonny actually cares) and Rafael wants to do this here, of all places. When they have a warm bed not two feet away. God, he's hard already, cock rising up against the fine fabric of his pants. He moves his hands from Rafael’s hair to the railing at his back, spreading his arms out and widening his stance to give Rafael all the access he wants.

Rafael’s mouth is a reprieve from the cold night; a scorching refuge. Sonny sighs, breath curling in the air as he tilts his head back, feeling it. He’ll never get used to the sight of this; Rafael Barba, willingly on his knees for him. Only for him, because he wants to. He said so. Rafael said he’s been thinking about doing this all day. And he’s no amateur; Sonny remembers the first time he got his cock in Rafael’s mouth and he’s still embarrassed over how quickly he came.

Rafael knows what he’s doing. His smart mouth suckling at the tip of Sonny’s cock slowly because he’s learned that’s what Sonny likes. Slow, attentive blow jobs that go on far longer than they should. Rafael gives the head a sloppy kiss, tonguing the slit before moving his attention to Sonny’s balls, mouthing them.

“S-shit,” Sonny pants, leaning almost all of his weight on his elbows now because Rafael’s being _cruel_. His hand shoots out to grip at Rafael’s hair, gripping tight and tilting his hips and pressing his face closer, fucking his mouth. Rafael groans, letting Sonny man-handle him and kisses his inner thigh, going back to sucking Sonny off. Sonny feels his cock hit the back off Rafael’s throat with zero resistance. Feels the clench in his abs and tightening of his whole entire body. He can hear his own unstable breathing.

His orgasm doesn’t seem to have an end. It takes him by surprise, the power behind it, and Rafael swallows as much as he can before pulling off, using the rest to milk him through it. _Jesus, you’re filthy,_ Sonny wants to say, but his tongue isn’t working.

Sonny heaves in deep breaths, staring at the sky for a while when it’s over. Waiting for his brain to start working. He needs to say something. Rafael’s still on his knees, forehead resting on Sonny’s thigh.

“I love you,” Sonny says, hoping his voice is loud enough to carry. It is, because Rafael chuckles, breath warm against his leg and he stands. He gives Sonny a fond look.

“You’re just saying that because – “

“No, shh. Shut up,” Sonny cuts in, smiling and stupidly in love. He places a finger on Rafael’s lips. “Say it back.”

Rafael bites his finger.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [No Shame in Asking [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13846833) by [monstrous_eliza (ships_to_sail)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ships_to_sail/pseuds/monstrous_eliza)




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